You....
Looking at me....
What is it...
That you have...
That makes you...
Commendable of...
my pity?
What is it...
That you have shown...
To attain...
The pity I own...
And can give...
as a loan?
The merit...
Ratified to me...
To concede to you...
Is for you...
to procure.
No shortcuts...
to Life.
It is necessary...
to move.
Though a diminutive amount ...
Of advice...
to share.
Nothing is free...
For you...
to bare.
So work...
You will...
Have...
to do.
Or pay the price...
and no pity for you.
Looking at me....
What is it...
That you have...
That makes you...
Commendable of...
my pity?
What is it...
That you have shown...
To attain...
The pity I own...
And can give...
as a loan?
The merit...
Ratified to me...
To concede to you...
Is for you...
to procure.
No shortcuts...
to Life.
It is necessary...
to move.
Though a diminutive amount ...
Of advice...
to share.
Nothing is free...
For you...
to bare.
So work...
You will...
Have...
to do.
Or pay the price...
and no pity for you.
Wow! That was such a well written poem. I loved the vocabulary such as, procure, diminutive, etc. The only thing is, I would try to do is in the future, maybe try to make one line longer to show emphasis. The topic was extremely impressive. Where did you come up with that topic?? I loved it, it was so creative. I loved it all, great job!!
ReplyDeleteThe quote in the first picture "I pity the fool" stands true in your poem. I really liked this well composed piece of writing since it flowed smoothly and the spacing put emphasis on each line, almost like a period. The point conveyed in your essay really is apparent with the many examples that you provide and how you connect it to something like a life experience and lesson.
ReplyDeletethat was great ishan. you really told a storry. nice vocab you were very descriptive. you proided may examples.
DeleteThank you everybody!!!
ReplyDeleteImpressive Ishan, it's a poem I appreciate for the ring of truth residing behind those words.
ReplyDelete